While I, myself am flying first class on the solo plane this winter, I feel like I should shed some of my majestic light on a few of the douche bag qualities that seem to rise to the surface in the cold. And seeing as Do They Serve Champagne!? has kicked off at a spectacular speed (thank you, thank you very much), this is probably the place to disclose such things...
Basically, here are a few basic situations for all you Johnny Bravo's out there that probably wont sit too
well with le typical me and or possibly other 'down to normal' girls. So boys, pay attention.
Okay first, I get it, you see an attractive girl on Facebook through a friend of a friends, friend who you were stalking. So you add her... Normal? Yes. Go for gold. *she accepts*...Awesome! So you start up the convo with "Hey gorgeous/sweetie pie/amazing pants/sugar lips/sex." (Your typical line)... Usually works a treat?.. Wait.. no! Its doesn't? HOLD UP TURBO! Take a step back!!!... NUMBER ONE: Way to make it clear that you have added said girl because you think shes smokin and want to simply jump her bones... Lets be honest, no one starts a conversation with someone they first meet with such terms of endearment. No one!!! Its not "friendly" its "dumb"... So you're probably not off to a good start but hopefully for your sake, the girl in mention will let it slide because clearly its your first time at attempting to not be a twat bag...
So the conversation continues with casual banter about where you came from, what school she went to, how many babies your cat had, etc etc. So next, (because your a 'total playa') you slip in the "We should catch up?" line... Naturally, the girl doesn't want to be rude so she will reply with the generic "Yeah maybe sometime" line or of whatever sorts... But because that wasn't blunt enough, you drop the "You should come cuddle and keep me warm and watch movies ;)" statement... And there we have it...an easy NUMBER TWO: Well first off, its Australia, so its not that cold. Pull your head in! Secondly, I'm sure you can keep yourself warm. Its called a blanket. Number three, clearly the casual palm off line that was previously stated wasn't hint enough for you? Given that the conversation just started and you seem like a dickhead already, its going to be a NO! for the "movie" (aka, sex/pre-sex/post-sex/sex/sex)... Number four, why are you winking!!!???
So skip the in between, and the girl has politely declined your offer for whatever reason. Next thing you know, you (as the boy) are getting mad at the rejection!!! Well NUMBER THREE: Remove head from ass, then speak and then maybe all your problems will go away!!... Nothing screams unattractive more then when a guy throws a "fine" or "righto" or even a "k" at you because they coped a "Nah, its late, maybe next time".... Pay attention boys; even though your answer is quite obviously a flat no, the girl in question has been kind enough to give you a little hope. Your one worded/dead reply to close the conversation (because you didn't get the sex you wanted) isn't doing you any favors!!!
And finally, when a girl gives you another chance for conversation and you start telling her about how you like her and how she should send you n00ds. Next time, before you send the request to the girl, maybe think about asking your great great grandmother to send you her's first. Because you are probably going to receive a similar reply from granny as from a down to normal girl.
YOU'RE WELCOME!
No comments:
Post a Comment