Hold the phone, Harry's here.

Just a few things I think Ill inform you of- It's finally fireplace weather. YIPPIE! There is a genre of music called 'Bollyfunk'. Lemon berry fizz flavor cruisers are insanely sweet. Also, my feet are really hot right now. But most importantly, I think the big ol' mighty you-know-who (no, I'm not talking about Voldermort (even though its really relevant)) is sending me signs that I am in fact...Harry Potter.... That's right! Harry frigging Potter... *Kaylah Potter, if may...Now I'm not one to preach Jesus or anything like that but I shit you not, I think I'm getting signs. Yep, I said it- I am getting signs from Jesus Christ, himself... Probably even God..... I'm talking, Holy rolling, praise the Lord, I cant feel my feet, signs!!! First, I keep having these dreams about how I defy the acts of burglars by climbing trees that turn into the Weeping Willow to fight them off. Then I see a random Weeping willow (which may or may not actually be one but defiantly looked like it) on my way home from where ever I was. And then, call me maybe crazy, but I found myself at a castle.. Seriously!!!! A castle.. Shit got real.
It sounds crazy I know but next thing you know, I'm probably going to fall on my ass and land myself a scar on my head. AND THEN no one would question my logic, huh!? BELIEEEVEEE MEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I'm not crazy I swear. This is the real deal. And did you know that Sabrina the Teenage Witch is being turned into a movie.. See, another sign. Okay that's it, you're all convinced. I can feel it in my waters. There's no need to tell you more. I'm Harry Potter. End of story.