You know what really grinds my gears! And I'm going to use a lot of explanation marks to make my point here!! I'm sure other girls will agree.
I don't understand how one can wake up in the morning, get ready, look in the mirror and be like "hell yeah, I look dayum fine", go out for an hour or two, come home, look in the mirror and HOLY DICK! It looks like you've been shot in the face with a crayon cannon.
Seriously, whats the deal!!! And it only happens when you want to look good for one reason or another!!!
Example; I wake up pretty early to go to work and leave my house at about 6:15am looking probably not amazing but at least decent to tackle the world (not that I need to look a billion dollars to go to work or anything but you know, it would be nice sometimes). At about 10am I have morning tea and make a coffee in which I walk past a little mirror. Naturally I cant help but to take a sneaky little peak. FALSE! Probably shouldn't do that!!! Every. Frigging. Goddamn. Day!!!!!! Because its been what? a whole, maybe 4 hours and I already look like I've wrestled a sea lion with my face!!! Everyday!!!!
I don't get it!!!!!! And before you think this is a cry for a compliment, just know how wrong you are! This isn't theory, this is scientific fact! When you need to be somewhere looking a little bit spiffy; for some cosmic reason beyond my explanation, you will inevitably look like gaping asshole by the time you get to the event to the time in which you get home from the event. Or at least for me this seems to be the case. No exceptions.
But then, this is the bit that really shits me... IF I go somewhere and there is no one significant around, and I'm there all day, possibly playing in mud and possibly, I don't know, climbing trees and slaying dragons?.. Ill get home, look in the mirror and look like goddamn Kate Middleton. WHAT IS THIS!!!
So Because this issue is absolutely anyone, please, if you have a solution other then digging a hole and burying myself in hope that ill grow a new face, please do, enlighten me!! horse shit!
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