Hold the phone, Harry's here.

Just a few things I think Ill inform you of- It's finally fireplace weather. YIPPIE! There is a genre of music called 'Bollyfunk'. Lemon berry fizz flavor cruisers are insanely sweet. Also, my feet are really hot right now. But most importantly, I think the big ol' mighty you-know-who (no, I'm not talking about Voldermort (even though its really relevant)) is sending me signs that I am in fact...Harry Potter.... That's right! Harry frigging Potter... *Kaylah Potter, if may...Now I'm not one to preach Jesus or anything like that but I shit you not, I think I'm getting signs. Yep, I said it- I am getting signs from Jesus Christ, himself... Probably even God..... I'm talking, Holy rolling, praise the Lord, I cant feel my feet, signs!!! First, I keep having these dreams about how I defy the acts of burglars by climbing trees that turn into the Weeping Willow to fight them off. Then I see a random Weeping willow (which may or may not actually be one but defiantly looked like it) on my way home from where ever I was. And then, call me maybe crazy, but I found myself at a castle.. Seriously!!!! A castle.. Shit got real.
It sounds crazy I know but next thing you know, I'm probably going to fall on my ass and land myself a scar on my head. AND THEN no one would question my logic, huh!? BELIEEEVEEE MEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I'm not crazy I swear. This is the real deal. And did you know that Sabrina the Teenage Witch is being turned into a movie.. See, another sign. Okay that's it, you're all convinced. I can feel it in my waters. There's no need to tell you more. I'm Harry Potter. End of story.

My voice is a mixture of Fergie and Jesus.

Today I danced around my house singing Katy Perry's Part of Me. And by 'danced' i mean that i jumped and thrusted mid air while throwing my hands in the AYAR AY AYAR. And by 'singing' i mean shouting harmoniously from the rooftops, also known as my living room; looking similar to this guy...

So While I was doing a absolutely smashing job of sharing my Jesus-esk voice with my entire neighbourhood I may or may not change words at my own leisure. I don't even remember what I sung but I managed to change the entire meaning of the song to suit a sub context of something along the lines of Katy "blowing" in whoever's face... Awkward...
Now I'm not gonna lie, while I'm driving places I do this A LOT.. I'm talking, full blown, Celine Dion, Titanic, My heart will go on, windows down, commitment-to-the-cause type busting it out down the road. Probably more times then none, I've changed the words. Which makes me wonder if there are people in cars beside me correcting me in their heads?... If anything I think that's the beauty of music these days- change a few words and BOOM! Instant sexual!!
Its magic!

Poop party at my house :|

Good evening my little cherubs.
I'm just going to start by saying that my boobs look goddam amazing today! Seriously, they look like big ol' porn star bazoongas! Its beautiful.
.....I kid you not, my bunny, Spunky just poo'd about sixty little poo's all over my lounge. Dead set, for a little tiny bunny he is a shitting machine. If pooping was a profession, he would be the best in the business. If it were a religion, he would be the Dalai Lama of poop. And for those of you who have not experienced a rabbit peeing on you- just know that the amount is torrential! Yesterday Spunky pee'd on me and it went right through my clothes through to my underwear.. And let me tell you; there's nothing more dissatisfying then having to change not only your outfit, but also your underwear because someone else has pee'd them for you...
Basically, if you want to buy one of these majestic little puffs of fun, just remember that if its going in its mouth, its going to come out its ass in the form of about a billion pellets, that yes, occasionally your bunny will eat... And yes, it is hilarious and cute all at the same time.
To assist this issue, tonight I took to the kitchen to make Spunky a feast of carrots, cucumber, beans, tomato, corn and strawberries.. Obviously because I'm Nigella's twin.. But I bet ill regret that later when im picking up poop till the wee *no pun intended* hours of the morning!  

Technology can go eat some off Mexican!

I swear to god! I have not been able to get technology working for me tonight. First, actually not 'first' because I havnt resolved the issue, so it doesnt get the privilege of being introduced as 'first' on my list- All I want is for a goddam picture of glitter to be my background! I know how to do it, yes. But do you think that a son of a bitch photo will upload, no! THEN, some stupid mafaq utorrent search bar thing wouldnt get the hell off my screen. So i couldn't see what i was posting because it was taking up half my screen. So i deleted the hardware but do you think that the hardware was gone. NO! IT WASNT GONE DAMMIT! ... I then was like, whatever ill go work in my room. Knowing that my laptop has shit its ever so technical underpants, i got hold of my mums and decided it would do- even though the keyboard is some kind of foreign, small button crazy thing. Id make it work. Nope, that wasn't going to happen because the internet wouldnt connect. So it was a long shot but i plugged in my laptop.. And halelujah it is working! ... Okay so occasionally my mouse has a panic attach and flys around the screen. And sometimes when im writing a sentance half of the words appear three lines up or something. I dont even curr! Dis shit cray!

So heres a photo of some hot-dogs ;) to lighten the mood... And yes, I need to dress my feral little muppets (formally known as Boz and Milly) in these bad boys!

Which brings me to bigger things. Why are people still unplugging stuff from power points when they are still switched on at the wall... DO YOU WANT TO DIE!

That actually wasn't where i intended to take the "bigger things" discussion so ill just stop there.
Okay so as stated- I am 20. Which means, you would think that id be pretty much finished growing.. Right? Right? Wrong! .. One of the main things i struggle with in my life right now, is the concept of why the hell i am in the process of teething!! What is life!! I was sitting at work the other day, pondering anything but work when all of a sudden i noticed some shark like fin tooth thing poking up through my gums. I googled it... No i didn't really- My wisdom frigging teeth seem to be making an appearance. And im pretty sure my other little toothy pegs are not welcoming them into the neighborhood! Naturally, I am absolutely petrified of the dentist. So i seem to be in a small predicament. LG- Lifes good... Naaahttttt! What the feck.

..........An hour and a half later; I've changed my wallpaper.
YOU'RE WELCOME!

Well looky looky what we have here...

Where to start, where to start...  

The first post is always the most awkward. I don't know why but there is so much pressure to make some kind of hook that lours people back into reading. But I really don't care so lets get straight down to business. 

Number one, since leaving high school back in le '09- I've lost my ability to spell. That's right, I am the big TWO-OH!.. Exciting isn't it ;) .. Number two, a lot of the time I don't proof read the shit I write. Number three, this is a place of no judgement- so don't judge. Or ill find you and burn your frying pan with melted cheese! (That happened tonight and let me tell you- it is one mother of a bitch to get off!)

So this isn't my first blog but I'm getting old and therefore its about time I start a fresh.. I thought about writing a book but I get bored of things pretty fast so I figure that would probably be a waste of time.... A fun waste of time... Maybe ill do it anyway. No. Oh, and my family all think that I should make some kind of ridiculous youtube channel where I ramble all the crazy things that go on in my head- But I'm not ready for that kind of potential backlash. And as concluded tonight- I'm only funny sometimes; I mostly just watch TV. 

So basically, in hindsight I've started a new blog because my other one was about 900 years old and all soppy about feelings and problems (a general whinge) - All things that are actually VERY boring and as it turns out- aren't that significant. This way I get to show my true colours shining through, my true colours and that's why I love you... Yeah I did! ... I regret nothing. 

Now that that's out of the way you should be pretty much aware of the fact that if you follow me or casually stop by you are going to get some straight up real life mind boggling, brain boiling, bubble popping, candy party.. crazy.. muffin? bear?... words?  that come from deep in my brain! 

Shit just got real.

You're Welcome.