SO! I have been brainstorming about what my next post should be about and I had a few really cool ideas running wild in my head. Unfortunately, while I had been on a rampant thinking expedition I received a snap chat from someone who I thought was a contact I knew, but I actually don't think it is... I'm wasn't entirely sure at the time to be honest.
It was just a big ol blurr with the words "nice tits" written over it..... This really wouldn't have been overly concerning given that a) Thanks? and b) I've never sent a nude photo to anyone in my life let alone over snapchat to someone who I potentially don't even know. So maybe it was meant for someone else? However, the problem stood solid as when I opened the snap, I was seemingly standing butt naked in the middle of my bedroom. Now, to explain, I had just stepped out of the shower a few moments earlier... Standing around naked at eleven o'clock at night isn't really the norm for me, I swear.
So anyways, I'm sure you can see the dilemma I had on my hands.
But wait there's more!! The concern didn't just stop here. No siree. You see, while I was in the aforementioned shower, I decided to test the waterproof function on my mobile... Don't worry, verdict is that it works. So if nothing else, I can safely let you all know that the Sony Xperia Z is a waterproof hunk of shit.
Naturally, given the circumstances, things didn't look good for me at this point? First the present nakedness and then the waterproof theory testing. So an amount of panic set in. And to top it off, having the knowledge that my phone has a pretty poor track record for doing weird shit (even though its only one goddam week old) I thought to myself "holy dick, I've captured a tit mid test." - Words I never thought I'd find myself thinking.
I quickly scrolled through my snap history- There was nothing there. I had a look through my photo album- Also nothing. So I went back to my to my snap chat feed. I was confused. Very, very confused. I started to feel a little bit at ease. But then I remembered that I'm the girl that weird unexplainable things happen to. I'm the girl who's phone probably would send a titpic and leave no trace. In fact, I'm the girl who's phone would have sent a boxshot and titpic simultaneously to everyone in my contacts list. In fact, even to people not in my contacts list. Because that's the sort of bullshit life likes to throw at me. I mean, im not complaining because sometimes its pretty damn funny. This however, not so much. Terrifying? Yes. Funny? Nada.
You see, the whole reason I went with the Xperia Z and not the Galaxy S4 was because of that whole eye motion business. I don't want my phone seeing where my eyes are. If it can see my eyes what else can it see me doing??!! What's that movie where there are robots and they turn on the humans?? That's what would happen. I'm not okay with this. I chose the Xperia because, well, I don't know why. For one, it can't see me doing shit- literally and metaphorically, I suppose.
Aaannnyyyywwaaayyyssss, so the moment came where I received another snap from the same person. I was scared. I was expecting an
"awks, you just sent me a pic of your tit lol" type of message. I opened it. Another blank message. Only this time with the words "Nice ass, grab your tits and show me cleavage" written over it ........................................................ You've got to be shitting me right? I just had a mild panic attack, NAKED, in my bedroom, at eleven oclock at night, in the middle of winter because I thought my phone had pulled a swifty on me. All for some punk ass little seedy asshole to most probably be sending bulk creepy snaps to every girl they've managed to creep on asking for nudes. I swear to god.
While I was infuriated and wanted to go ballistic on this persons ass for making me shit an entire brick. Snap chat doesn't let you send more than, I dunno, like 30 characters or something. So being the lady that i am, i sent him this. I feel like it did the trick. He hasn't sent me anything since.
No comments:
Post a Comment