Binge drinking in the vicinity of your bedroom is proving to be one of the best things I've ever done. I don't even know why i haven't become accustomed to it so much earlier in life!! Even better is that its completely acceptable to get WGW* on pretty much any day of the week. Why single out weekends when you can party like its 1999 urryday!!???
Here are some examples that spring to mind. Think about it.
1. No cab fairs EVER! - I live pretty far out from the city and valley so that makes a big difference to my back pocket. Do you know how many bottles of cheap wine and vodka I can buy with that cab money!? Well let me tell you, it's about 11.4 bottles of moscato or 3 one litre bottles of vodka! And that's just if I were to catch one cab all night.
2. At no point do you have to deal with seedy assholes trying to grope yours.
3. All night you are going to have access to a clean and sanitary toilet. And trust me, being a girl, this is one of the few beautiful virtues that life has to offer when you've downed said 11.4 bottles of moscato ;)
4. You can wear lounge-ware! Theres no dress code for your living room!!! I mean, you can still get dressed up and look pretty but guess what? NO HEELS! Ain't no body got time for a hangover AND blisters... Am I right? Am I right?
5. You're hungry? GO TO THE KITCHEN!!! Cook up a storm. Bulk cheese. Kitchen access all night! Anytime.
6. Your only enemy is going to be your shifty pillow that falls off the bed during the night. You wake up with a sore face but let's be real, you could be waking up with herpes from previously mentioned filthy bathrooms. So you're doing pretty well.
7. Clothe line? Goon of fortune. Acceptable.
8. Bloated from beer? Take your pants off. It's your house, you can do whatever the hell you want. Maybe don't even start with pants. Keep things interesting.
9. There is no risk of drunk hook ups! And if you do decide to play a lil tonsil hockey, gurl you knew what you were getting yourself into. Its your house, and if you are drinking with people, you invited them (Hopefully).
10. Boys, AGB? That shit is sorted *pun intended.
11. If you do decide to make it a social occasion, you get to surround yourself with people you ACTUALLY like.
12. (Refer to #9 & #10) There is no chance that you will be running into the bastard who left you at the alter *figuratively speaking*. NONE. NADA! It's gon be a good night.
13. Oh no!!! It's only 12am and you're hideous... Who even cares.
14. I can guarantee you that by staying home you aren't going to get a watered down version of your drink. In fact, I can almost assure you that you are probably going to get more than one standard drink per glass.
15. Guess who's not losing all their possessions tonight. YOU!!! Yaaaay... Well you might, but you're probably going to be able to track them down easier.
16. Whenever you walk into your kitchen or bathroom or study you can have a little chuckle because you have flashbacks of being in a drunken state and crawling on the ground trying to find more booze, or passing out there, or falling down and/or up your stairs, or hiding your friends shit in dumb places or taking a shit, I don't know! Whatever you're into! But it will make your living arrangements THAT much more hilarious. Take my word for it.
17. No lines. For anything. Nuff said.
AND FINALLY!!! (Because seventeen reasons to get incoherently drunk in the comfort of your house just isn't enough....)
18. Guess who's bed your waking up in?... YOUR OWN!!! (With the exception of prematurely passing out in other redick but completely acceptable places around the house)
Trust me, this is not even half of the benefits. There are so so SO many perks of getting WGW or WBW (I'm not sexist), BGW (I also don't discriminate) BBW (i don't discriminate and I am not sexist)......... At home.
DO IT!!!! It's beautiful. You will thank me later, when you don't look at your life the same way ever again. It's like magic- you'll never know if its real until you try it, and even then it's so wonderful you second guess it ;)
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