Flap those wings* and make it pop!

Regardless of what people say it has come to my attention that when it comes to the art of "wing-manning", girls out weigh boys to a great extreme. That being said, I think it all comes down to an understanding.
Now I am a single lady in the big city right, but I dont go out with the intention to pull every guy that I speak to. That being said, when I am interested in someone, I take very little pleasure in receiving assistance in getting what I want. Now that's just me, and that's cool, I get that. Everyone needs a helping hand here and there, sure.
So the good thing for me in this situation is that while I do have girl friends, I have a lot more guy friends. And i am more of an observer when out on the playing field, which as a result allows me to observe a lot of man for man wing-manning.
So let's just start off with the basics here. Girls don't really "wing-man" each other. Generally it's a pretty straight forward 'you're on your own, so get flirting' moto. Occasionally you'll have a girl friend who will hook another girl up with a guy in the sense that they talk them up etc, and arrange a little accidental-run-in somewhere. But that's about the gist of it. Give or take a few situations of course.

Okay so I take a lot of pride in the fact that I am a spectacular wing-man, but only for the fact that I have mastered the art of knowing when and when not to leave the vicinity in which said-friend is in the process of picking up (aka. Going in for the kill). Male or female. So I'm not going to rave on about how to do your job as a wing-man or anything, but this needs to be said- if you are a genuinely shit wing-man, shut the hell up and stop claiming your the best!! Like, I have no fancy tricks or anything but my technique works. If yours doesn't, just shut up. If you aren't even moral support, then shut your pie hole!
So, like I said before, wing manning isn't a big issue for girls but boys, it's a different story. Guys need all the help they can get because they are so hesitant with everything- actually "hesitant" isn't the the right word.- I think that guys just like the reassurance that they are going for something good. Which, again, there's no harm in that. I mean, you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends if it looks good on you first, right? (HA! SOLID MEAN GIRLS QUOTE, YOU'RE WELCOME!!)
My point is; so many guys who have a wing-man fall victim to having their wing man flap their wings straight into the arms of the prey. It's basically like being an indian giver. Its like saying "don't worry bro, I got this for you, but I'm probably going to swoop in on it later" *pun intended.
So heres a news flash for all said wing-men out there... MISTER WING MAN, YOUR JOB IS TO BE THE MUMMA BIRD AND GO SEEK OUT DINNER FOR YOUR BABY BIRD, YEAH YOU MIGHT CHEW IT UP A LITTLE BUT YOU'RE MEANT TO SPIT IT RIGHT INTO YOUR BABIES MOUTH!!!! NOT GET ITS HOPES UP WHILE YOU CHEW AND THEN "ACCIDENTALLY" SWALLOW IT!!!
Dammit meg! It drives me crazy. And I see it time and time again. I just don't understand. Why have a wing-man every week if you know what's going to happen! Just get your shit together and work it out yourself. C'mon, girls may not have everything worked out completely right, but we totally have this one in the bag.

*****Please refer to previous post if you think this is aimed solely at you... You may have just added to my complete confusion... ;) <3*****

You're shit because you think you're shit.

The two best parts about writing a blog that has a lot of people reading it is the suspense that I'm able to build through being lazy thus resulting in sparse posts and the fact that I'm forever being interrogated as to who I'm writing about... It's great.
It's like I'm flattering people without actually flattering people. It's like meeting someone and looking up at them from my donut 20 minutes after being introduced to them to reveal that i have a magical unicorn horn. Its like getting let into the good ol' pearly gates after doing a good deed that someone else did!!!!!!!!! I'm getting carried away, I know, but c'monnnn!
I don't mean to give you the impression that I'm writing about you, in fact, I don't even know why you think I am. IN FACT, I don't even know of its a good thing that you're asking me!!
But this is my logic, so let's be real for a second. I generally write about shit; So do yourself a favor and ask that little self conscience of yours this, 'Do I think I'm generally shit?'.. Because every time someone asks me if a post is about them, it's basically telling me you have low self esteem because I write shit and you think my shit is about you, therefore you must think you're shit!... Even if you don't... I don't really care... That's just how it is!
ACTUALLY and on that note, for all you boys that think my 'girls gone not so wild' post is about you, NUFF SAID!!!!!
Excuse me for my profanities, but Holy Dicktits! While its about no one person in particular, when you ask me if it's about you, ask yourself why you would be asking me if it's about you if you've never done any of those asshole things I wrote about.. And if you have done one or two of them, or maybe all of them.. Than yes, it's is exactly about you. And you have a rite to know that you're a right cockhead. So you're welcome!

Now let the suspense cook up deep inside your bellies until you're just about ready to explode. Bake for 10 minutes then wait to cool for another 10 minutes. Once I've rid myself of lazy you may serve to guests.