Unbeknown to most, my three greatest fears in life are losing an immediate family member (that includes me, because to hell with putting my family through that), something happening to my dog (ill never come to terms with his naturally shorter lifespan) and cancer (because cancer).
I feel like, those are all pretty reasonable fears. Statistically I feel like they might just be your "average run of the mill" fears, but I wouldn't know because I can't even say the words out loud without working up a little diamond in the corner of my eye #weakbitch.
What I am getting at is that I'm preeettyyyyy sure I can add another fear to my list and it comes in the form of two little numbers that will be gracing me with their presence in just a few weeks time.
Now I promise you that I am not one of those girls that hate their birthday, but I also don't love it. Nowhaddameeen? It's kinda just another day. A day where I can eat cake guilt free... Even though tbh I don't really ever feel guilty about cake ever.
But gurl. GURL. GUUURRRLLLLLLL. That lil 2 paired with that lil 6. Mmmgh. No. Ok. Hold me tight because It's hitting me hard af.
I'm legit dreading it.
I can't breath.
Srsly.
I need Jesus.
I currently have one of about eight life goals ticked off.... THAT IS A PROBLEM!
Yes, I have my dream floof loyally by my side. But do you see me having a house big enough to store all of my clothes and stuffs? Me with my own assistant because I'm so super successful in my career? Do I have a big shiny ring on my finger? Do I appear to be planning my next Holiday of a lifetime? Are you admiring my commitment to being married by Elvis in Vegas in the little white chapel? Can you see me with my Jaguar E-pace and/or Range Rover? A lil kiddy in my fancy ass stroller which my nanny will walk with by my side as I sip lattes all day errry day? GURL NO U DO NOT.
I am about 0% on my way to achieving my life goals.
0%
Do you read that clearly
ZERO PERCENT
I mean maybe it's a little more because of floofs. I dunno. Math is hard.
BUT LIFE IS HARDER. Its real hard man.
I'm pretty convinced it's because I was kinda an asshole for a few of my late teens years. I kinda toyed with people and lost my temper quickly. BUT IM A NICE GIRL. I just had to grow up a bit. Not to mention the shit storm I have gone through the past few years. Hunny I paid ma dues. Tf am I not achieving life shit easily for?
I mean, yeah, technically I could be planning my next holiday of a lifetime but my floof wouldn't be able to come and that is a whole other problem in itself. Plus how am I going to buy a house when I'm holidaying. Obvs.
I am not the most consciencly aware person on the planet. Sometimes things happen and I am so deep on my own world that I don't notice at all. I definitely don't ask enough questions, and I am certainly not the most prepared person at the best of times. But it's like I woke up one day and found myself in my mid twenties having to really work and push for thr things I want. No one is making things easier, let alone handing me things. Which has never been the case BUT IT WOULD SO BE NICE NOT TO FIGHT!
Ugh.
Real talk though - I honestly did think that by now I would have more in my life. I know that is probably mad selfish but l don't mean it like that. I kmow people are struggling. I am forever grateful for all the good that I do have. But I just thought I'd be on my way to purchasing my first home with my fiance to start planning for "a little girl baby who apparently is trapped in my womb because an outside influence is hindering her arrival." According my one psychic I saw one time anyways.
Uuuggghhhhhhh why 26. That's so close go 30...
That means I have 4 years to get my shit sorted and make so many grown up life choices.
Whhhhyyyyyyyyyy meeeeeeee.
Whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
I just brushed my teeth in the shower but now I need a stuff drink. Its going to taste awful.
I can't even manage a drink ffs.
Fml
I'm going to go cry to myself now.
Then brush my teeth again because alcohol.
Then go go bed because I'm old as shit.
Bye.
